Oh, my goodness! Thank you, Mr. Darcy!

     So...as anyone who has read only a few of my posts must know, I've been a bit on the fence about my life regarding Mr. Darcy. Although lately, I have realized that I really do love him, and I really do care about him, and I realy DO wish to be with him in my life. I am devastated and disappointed with how I have acted towards him, and I truly wish I can take back every single ne of my harsh words towards him...I truly hope he can forgive me. But! It seems as though he has as he has proposed to me! Gosh, it's been so hard for me to contain my glee, I feel like a teenager right now. Or-or something. But--my word, I'm excited! I feel bad for having been so, so misleading to everyone regarding him...telling people I dislike him...why, my father was SO confused hearing of this news, he still thought I had hated him. No matter, I care not what anyone else thinks! I am ahappy, and as long as Mr. Darcy is happy, I know that our marriage will last. I eagerly await our wedding-day...

          -Elizabeth Bennet

Jane, congradulations!!

     Oh my dear Jane, I am so happy for you! To be engaged to Mr. Bingley. Truly a pleasure in saying the words "my sister Jane will soon be married." Now, I know for a fact that you and Mr. Bingley will get along handsomely, you two do seem quite perfect for each other...now, Mr. Bingley! If you happen to read this, I must inform you that I will NOT tolerate you hurting my older sister! I care very deeply for her, and will not hesitate to come after you if you break her loving heart. She deserves all the happiness in the world, and I hope that you are able to give it to her.
     So...I might have over exaggerated back there, I WON'T do anything too bad to you, I was mostly joking. But I do care for my sister, and I do not want to see her be hurt. However, I know that you are a much better man than that, and it is obvious you care for her very much. I do not need to wish you any happiness, for you will have it all, but I will anyway. I will welcome you into the Bennet family eagerly, and call you my brother-in-law.

          -Elizabeth Bennet

My mother!!

     Well then! I suppose one cannot have common curtesy nowadays. Mr. Bingley and Mr. Bennet have been visiting us near daily here, and I must say, my mother is getting on my last nerve. I love her so, but how can she treat Mr. Bingley so kindly and Mr. Darcy so poorly. Mr. Darcy is a kind and generous man who cares deeply of those he loves, and I know that he deserves her respect just as much- if not more so -than Mr. Bingley does. After all, Bingley DID leave in such a hasty way, very much hurting Jane. And he did ignore her...although he may not have known she was in London when she was...oh, what does it matter? The point is, my mother is getting very TIRESOME, and I wish that she could treat Mr. Darcy better. Or at least keep her ill-founded negative feelings about him to herself, and quit acting like everyone in the universe agrees with everything she says. Good day. And my apologies for ranting yet again...

          -Elizabeth Bennet

Well, Lydia, I hope you're happy now...

     So you have married Mr. Wickham and you treat your sisters poorly. Marrying someone does not make you better than anyone, and it makes you worse than others if you flaunt it the way my younger sister does. She has the nerve to say Jane is not good enough for her, for whatever reason, and she has no right to do it! All she does is talk non-stop, all day, about a mand who doesn't even love her. I am sure that in less than a year, they would have grown tired of each other and wish to separate. I know that she will  regret her actions regarding Wickham in due time. Until then, I suppose I should wish her all the luck in the world.

          -Elizabeth Bennet

How dare he!

     Wickham, abducting my little sister like that! Running away with her, it is unbelieveable! The man is absolutely despicable, I cannot forgive him! I must explain: I received a letter from Jane telling me that my dear sister, Lydia, had ran away with Wickham while on vacation in Meryton, or wherever, and--God, she's getting MARRIED! Mr. Darcy truly opened my eyes to him, but it took it along while to fully register...but now it's finally sunken in and I also wonder how Lydia could be so STUPID as to run off with this man! I mean...well, I suppose he DOES have a good outward personality-a great one, actualy-which is why now he is so terrible. Now I know what he has done, and I know he's just using us for oney. All of us. Not only that, but this will mjake our family look absolutely TERRIBLE. Mother is absolutely furious, everyone is worried...goodness, this is a terrible turn of events...Lydia can be so empty-headed sometimes, I often wonder if our family would be better off without her! I regret that...but only slightly. End of L--I mean...good bye, readers, sorry if I am beginning to plague you with an incredibly confused mind.

          -Elizabeth Bennet

P.S.: In other news; I'm eating some delightful cheesecake. And happy April Fool's Day. None of this is a joke.

I met someone new today. :)

     I never would have thought Miss Darcy to be as she is. When I first heard of her I expected somebody cold, cruel, selfish, and so on; I can honestly say that I had no high hopes for her whatsoever. But she is so different! She's so kind and sweet and so adorably shy! Apparently people do see her as proud, but no, she is just shy! I have no idea why, but I just love girls who are shy, they're just so cute and innocent seeming! Seems as I have rambled on long enough about Mr. Darcy's younger sister...I hope I haven't acted TOO strange in this update, I honestly didn't mean to. But Miss Darcy is just so not what I expected at all, it is just so surprising!

          -Elizabeth Bennet

I already regret my last post!

     It's hardly been a day; not even an hour, and I already regret what I have said. Why would the servants all think so highly of him if he is not a good man? They have all said how much of a good person he is, how much he cares for the poor, all this wonderful stuff about him. Have I judged him too harshly? Have I, I don't know, gone a bit overboard in my sucpisions? In speaking with me he seems very kind, and honest as well. I think I HAVE acted too rashly. Thought to harshly. Oh, I don't know, this is all so confusing! I have no idea of how I feel of Mr. Darcy after all, and...and I just wish everything will become a bit more clear!!

          -Elizabeth Bennet

Visiting Pemberly!

     Pemberly is one of the most- if not the most -beautiful places I have ever been to. Its natural beauty is just absolutely awe-inspiring, and seeing it just takes my breath away. I could spend hours just walking around to see all it has to offer, and being able to spend some time away from the chaos of my family is very relaxing...yet I do miss the commotion they always have.
     Despite Pemberly's astounding beauty (oh, I cannot get enough of it!), I was- and am -quite nervous about being here. I am absolutely unsure of how to act around Mr. Darcy. In fact...I do regret my words and actions regarding him. Yes, it is true I may be the mistress of this gorgeous estate had I agreed to marry him, but that is not the reason why I feel ashamed of my actions. This is the first time I have seen him so kind, so polite, so...human in all my time of knowing him. I feel bad for treeting and judging him in such a harsh and unfair manner, and I do hope one day he can forgive me. Oh, but he probably won't; the way I treated him was awful, just plain awful. And I do wish I could take those actions back. Yet at the same time I'm afraid to. I have messed this up far too much and it cannot be fixed no matter how much I want it to be, and I know that Mr. Darcy and I can never even be on friendly terms because of what I have done. But do I even want to be friends with him is the question! He could just be putting on an act for my aunt and uncle, to make him seem like much better of a person than he REALY is...or maybe he's putting on an act for ME! Lying, faking, and deceiving me in everything, making himself out to be such a kind and even generous man...all of it could be a lie just to make me feel as bad as I do!! How dare he! First he insults me, even  insults my family, pretends to love me, and now! NOW he is doing this despicable deed, trying to win my heart and make me feel bad for regecting him! Well it won't work, Mr. Darcy, not at all! I have found you out and will not fall for your stupid little games!

          -Elizabeth Bennet

Oh Jane, how caring you are!

     And how kind you are, to believe so highly in anyone! Why, is it possible for you to have any negative feelings towards anyone? I have finaly confided in her the situation with Mr. Darcy and Wickham, and her kindness towards both, her disbelief of it al, it is enough for two people! Any regrets I started to have have been washed away-no, taken by her. And while I do feel a bit sorry to have dumped my negative feelings on her, it still feels so good to be rid of them. Thank you, my dear sister, for your kindness towards me.

          Elizabeth Bennet

Lydia and Kitty...

     Before I begin, I must say that I love all of my family very much, no matter what they do, and I greatly value and respect them. I do not hope to sound harsh in saying this, but...how are Kitty and Lydia so...so...shallow?? And! If you wish to "treat" someone, you do not take them out to eat and then ask them to pay the bill since you have spent all your money on a bonnet-and on a bonnet you find ugly, no less! Plus, why must she and Kitty think so much of men? It would be nice to have a conversation about something different every now and then, and by something different I do NOT mean something so silly as clothing...it bores me to tears, honestly! I wish we could talk about finer, more entertaining things, like music, perhaps art...though I am not terribly practiced in either, it would be very refreshing to hear of something different every now and then! Oh, and let us not forget to mention how...rude they are, regarding others! Yes, I know we are all human, meaning that we all have opinions, and I respect thjat. But why must one look down so much on another simply because of looks? I wish that people these days thought more about what one has to offer intelectualy and not just physically. Oh but aren't I glad that I am so "flawless," now aren't I?
     I am so sorry for being so overly-critical of everyone, and I mean no disrespect by what I say. It's just that...sometimes I wish to let my feelings be heard! I do not enjoy being so close-lipped all the time, even if I AM rather outspoken at times...but I love my family, and I want all to know that. They mean the world to me.

          Elizabeth Bennet

Finally returning home!

     After my time in Hunsford, I am looking forward to returning home greatly. How I miss my dear sisters, and of course my loving father and mother! And as I have stated, I greatly wish to speak with Jane of all that has happened; but my desire for such conversations must come later, I have further things to talk about regarding Hunsford.
     I truly wish that some people were not so overly-opinionated, and by some people I mean Lady Catherine. Yes, she does have a rather fine house, but her and her daughter are just so intolerable! Her, always saying that things should be done just so, and Miss DeBourg being so snobbish to all! We could not have left any sooner, and I am glad to be gone from the place! However, my time with Charlotte was very pleasing, and I do wish to see her again. Although if seeing her means having to see the Lady...oh, I mustn't complain, it was a good time and aside from a few certain events of which I have mentioned, it was very enjoyable.
     I look forward to seeing everyone on my return home, and I do hope for some quality time spent with my family, especially my dear sisters. Well, I suppose I should focus more on making conversation on the ride home-until next time.

          Elizabeth Bennet

...

It seems I was quite wrong in my judgment of Mr. Darcy's opinion of me, quite wrong indeed. The man does not hate me, as I had assumed, but rather...well, he earlier confessed a deep love and admiration towards me. I cannot express in mere words how much this has shocked and displeased me, and cannot even PRETEND to be flattered by this man. As I have stated he is a proud man whom I have no care or like for, and I wish that he had stayed as far away from me as possible. He even told me he wished he could. Oh, the things he told me! How can a man be so open about so many things? He told me himself that he hate the fact he loves me, hates the fact because of his social standing, my social standing, and even my family. He believes them to be strange, even irritating, and had the nerve to say such things to my face. All while attempting to PROPOSE to me! Again, how I wish Jane were here, she'd be able to calm me in an instant...I cannot believe that Mr. Darcy has done such a thing; to propose to me, yet say he does not wish to love me. No words could possibly exist to describe how...how terrible I feel right now. I do wish I had Jane nearby, I deeply crave her tender affection...

Elizabeth Bennet

Tolerance.

How my sister manages to tolerate people in such a polite manner completely escapes me. Mr. Darcy becomes an even more disagreeable person every time I meet him, and tonight was no exception. We had all been dining yet again with Lady Catherine when I was asked by her to play the piano. Having no objections I sat down to play with these actions being met by a look of intense shame upon Mr. Darcy's face. The man barely knows me and has hardly heard me play enough to have formed any opinion on my musical talents, yet he feels as though he has the right to judge me so openly and so harshly. I truly wish that I had Jane with me at this time, her tolerance for others has a huge calming effect on me and never fails to cheer me up when I am in such a mood. I do miss her, and the rest of my family, quite terribly, and look forward to seeing them soon.

Elizabeth Bennet

Coping with Mr. Darcy...

     My time at Hunsford is still quite enjoyable. I am incredibly glad to be in good terms with my dear friend Charolette despite all that has gone on, and am happy to say that our relationship seems to be untainted by her marriage to Mr. Collins. Despite this pleasant turn of events, however, I do have some bad news I must speak of. Mr. Darcy has come to Hunsford and is staying the whole time I am. I find this man to be quite disagreeable, in more ways than one. He is proud, very proud, and thinks far too highly of himself and far too lowly of others. That would be tolerable (to some degree) had he not gone to the trouble of breaking my dear sister's heart. I care very deeply for Jane, and I know she has fallen quite in love with Mr. Bingley, and I even thought that they would be married in the future. However, Mr. Darcy did not seem to approve of this idea, and had done his best to pull the two apart, succeeding in the end.
     I know that my dear sister Jane would not want me to linger over this and use this as a reason for me to bear more negative feelings towards him, but I cannot hep but feel this way. I do hope to avoid him during our time here, and sincerely hope he tries to do the same.

          Elizabeth Bennet

After visting Lady Catherine

I find my time here with Mr. and Mrs. Collins quite enjoyable. My fears about not getting along well with Catherine were completely irrational, and I am pleased to say we are getting along most handsomely. And although Mr. Collins seems to still wish I were his, he, too, has been quite easy to get along with. The one thing I have to complain about at this point is Lady Catherine de Bourgh! True, she is very polite, however in a most disagreeable sort of way. She insists upon disagreeing with everyone and in sharing her opinion at every given moment, even when it is not desired. True, it is good for any woman to be well-opinionated, but it gets very tiresome if all a lady says is an extremely critical and unwelcome opinion. She is also the type of person to continue talking and talking without letting anyone else get a word in at any point, no matter how obvious it is that they wish to. No matter, it is just a small bump in the road; I am sure the rest of my time here will be quite enjoyable.


          Elizabeth Bennet