Pemberly is one of the most- if not the most -beautiful places I have ever been to. Its natural beauty is just absolutely awe-inspiring, and seeing it just takes my breath away. I could spend hours just walking around to see all it has to offer, and being able to spend some time away from the chaos of my family is very relaxing...yet I do miss the commotion they always have.
Despite Pemberly's astounding beauty (oh, I cannot get enough of it!), I was- and am -quite nervous about being here. I am absolutely unsure of how to act around Mr. Darcy. In fact...I do regret my words and actions regarding him. Yes, it is true I may be the mistress of this gorgeous estate had I agreed to marry him, but that is not the reason why I feel ashamed of my actions. This is the first time I have seen him so kind, so polite, so...human in all my time of knowing him. I feel bad for treeting and judging him in such a harsh and unfair manner, and I do hope one day he can forgive me. Oh, but he probably won't; the way I treated him was awful, just plain awful. And I do wish I could take those actions back. Yet at the same time I'm afraid to. I have messed this up far too much and it cannot be fixed no matter how much I want it to be, and I know that Mr. Darcy and I can never even be on friendly terms because of what I have done. But do I even want to be friends with him is the question! He could just be putting on an act for my aunt and uncle, to make him seem like much better of a person than he REALY is...or maybe he's putting on an act for ME! Lying, faking, and deceiving me in everything, making himself out to be such a kind and even generous man...all of it could be a lie just to make me feel as bad as I do!! How dare he! First he insults me, even insults my family, pretends to love me, and now! NOW he is doing this despicable deed, trying to win my heart and make me feel bad for regecting him! Well it won't work, Mr. Darcy, not at all! I have found you out and will not fall for your stupid little games!
-Elizabeth Bennet
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